For fucks sake.

It's just the internet. Get over it.

M :->

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Silly things that amuse me...

...this is another post where I shall witter on about the marvels of Google Analytics, in particular the section that allows you to see what keywords people are using to find their way here, some of them tickle me, others leave me scratching my head.

I was going to do a top ten countdown of my favourite search terms but I don't think I can be bothered, I'll just stick up a list of some of the funnier ones that jump out.

Here, in no particular order, is the list.

action plans brunner mond - Ok chaps, why not start by having a meeting to discuss your plan

"the new mendoza" -line explore - I don't remember exploring a line..?

access to brunner mond - We parachute in, honest.

fenix house in derby - A house of torches?? I'm there!

hippodrome : what is it - It's a fooking theatre, innit.

ineos silicas saturday - I'm going back on a Friday, that'll confuse 'em.

stockport salt mines - WTF?

what is going on at ferro alloys glossop - It's being demolished, really, it is.

axel nobel littleborough - AXEL Nobel, ffs.

ace culvert - Lol, there all ace!!

directions to dodge hill air raid shelter - Well, it's like this, you get on a number 43 bus...

And that's that. Roll on summertime...

TnM ;->

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Woah!!! Relentless X4 - Oh my!

Wow, whilst mooching about my favourite retail store of choice I spotted this!! A four pack of the mighty Relentless, woot, an entire days sustainance in an easy to carry plastic wrapped four pack (of convenience fame). And it's less than four quid.

It's like this you see, four cans equals breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner, throw in a packet of Marlboro (Red) and a days exploring is complete.

The way to win is right there! Get them from Tesco, or your supermarket of choice (although Tesco is the winning choice, obviously).

TnM ;->

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Bunker...bollox...broken camera... :-<

Made a return trip to the Bunker drain today with Sal and once I'd talked her through the access point we headed deep underground to cries of 'bloody hell, wait for me, your legs are longer than mine!'. Well, at a diminutive 5'3" it's hardly surprising the Shireling had trouble keeping up. ;->


Tramping up the RCP together we spent ages looking at frogs, toads, eels and fish, before heading into the darkness, to more cries of 'don't get so far ahead, I don't like it! Slow down...' eventually we arrived at the huge chamber with the stepped downfall and we stopped for pictures and a mooch up the smaller pipe that led nowhere except to a gated infall. Was nice to see daylight though, and grab some fresh air.


We carried on up the drain after taking pictures, when I thought, 'oh, I'll get a pic of the two of us, either side of this pipe'. So, I set up the camera, tell Sal where to stand, hit the self timer button and then...ouch, the sound of a Nikon D200 and 17-35mm f2.8 lens hitting the concrete as I caught the tripod on my way past, F**K, this could be expensive.

As it turns out, the camera works fine, it just won't switch off, unless I unscrew the battery pack, not ideal, but it does the trick....Calumet here I come!!

All in was a good mooch until I noticed a rise in water levels towards the middle of the drain, at this point we decided to head back to the entry point, lest we get caught out.

Was a thoroughly enjoyable mooch, just wish I was more careful with my gear sometimes, lol.

TnM ;->

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Anonymous comments enabled...

Right, after months of requiring a google account to leave comments on my blog I'm opening it up to anonymous users. It could be interesting, it could be really dull, I'm kinda hoping someone from Brunner Mond will leave a remark, even if it consists of 'stay the fook away from our factories, you cheeky varmint!'.

Don't be a twat about it though will you dear reader, anything I don't like will be deleted, just 'cos I can, although healthy discussion is always encouraged.

Go for it folks, abuse my generosity.

TnM ;->

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Derby Hippodrome links and shiz...

Just a quick update with a few links to the Derby Evening Telegraph website regarding the fate of the Hippodrome, so bravely photographed by myself last week. ;->

This Kirsty Green woman is going for it big time lol.

8th April.

HIPPODROME DEVELOPER ALSO OWNS FORMER CHURCH

DEVELOPER GIVES HIS SIDE OF THE STORY

5th April.

CONTROVERSY IN PAST OF THEATRE OWNER

COUNCIL'S VERSION OF EVENTS FOR HIGH COURT BID

STRIVING FOR THE FACTS

4th april.

DAMAGE TO HIPPODROME'S INTERIOR [WITH PICS]

3rd April.

HIPPODROME BATTLE SET TO GO TO THE HIGH COURT

PAID TO LEAVE ON THE DAY PARTS OF THE HIPPODROME CAME DOWN

I think that'll do for now, keep it up, Kirsty.

TnM :->

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ThenewMendoza Salt Mine excavation (of back yard fame) - 20/02/08

Ok chaps, here is the problem, fearing my drain pipe was busted following the great sewage flood of last week I decided to investigate the wonky flagstone at the east end of my estate.

Upon liftage of said stone I was faced with a gaping chasm, I immediately reached for my head torch and headed in a little closer, documentary evidence of what I was faced with can be found in the picture SaltMine1.

I donned my Phil (cornish bloke off time team) hat and began carefully excavating the shitty mess that lay before me. I faced brick, soil (of all varieties), lady products and other monsters of the deep. I finally hit the object of my diggage, the drain, I'm naming it Supershitter.

I went for my drain rods and gave the damn thing what for until the flow of water which was quite an immense build-up, began flowing freely, I could hear it trickling away into the main public sewer. A most welcome aural pleasure.

The picture SaltMine2 (above) shows what I am left with, it seems there is half a pipe (cut lengthways??) that is causing the problem and needs replacing with a closed variety. Unfortunately there are a number of bricks (possible foundations for the carriage house) leaning on the pipe which I am too scared to move, lest said carriage house comes collapsing down upon itself.

The gaping wound in my back yard needs sorting, chaps, what would you do?

Captain Mendoza (of the 45th drain dig battalion) ;->

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I'd completely forgotten I picked this up. 31/01/08

I was rummaging through my camera bag today, having a bit of a clear out of all that random shit that tends to wind up stuffed in a forgotten pocket. And so it was that I found the card pictured above, The Premier Moor System - Thought Control - Substitution.

What with all my recent woe and bad luck, I considered it a rather serendipitous find, and it came at just the right time too, the day after my gran's funeral.

Although the language of the card is somewhat dated, I'm guessing 1920s/30s, the message is fairly clear, 'stop moping and start thinking positively'. And that is what I fully intend to do, it can't hurt to try can it?

The card reads as follows.

It is absolutely essential that you dwell upon the positive side of life, and for that reason you must never allow yourself to become discouraged or pessimistic, for example, If when you are about to go out it commences to rain, then you must not mentally say 'How unfortunate I am, it always rains when I go out' but rather you must substitute this thought with 'How fortunate I am to have an umbrella and rainproof,' further what a blessing rain is for it is impossible to live without water.

By this method of 'substitution' you will gradually change yourself into a positive optimistic, cheerful and happy individual, to whom friends are naturally attracted.

TnM :->

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2007 - I've had the best of times and the worst of times - 31/12/07

This will go down as one of those years to remember for me. I've met some great people, made some great friends.

Stood in places I really shoudn't have been standing, seen things that made me go 'WOW', had insane evenings dodging security, eaten things I probably shouldn't have eaten, been soaked, been filthy, been cut, bruised and battered.

Had some great times and some really great laughs along the way.

It's strange then as 2007 draws to a close, I can't help but think of the irony in my love of abandonment, and that I should be abandoned myself.

What further adventures await in the next 12 months....?

TnM :-[

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Making headlines. Mendoza and miracles 19/12/07

Seems the Knutsford Guardian were hot to trot with the tale of my recent accident, must have been a slow news week or something. In typical KG style they managed to make a story out of not very much. And they got their facts wrong, there were only four cars and one van.

Still, nothing like spicing things up, I particularly like the sub-heading 'House shook as cars crashed', well, I can tell you it wasn't the only thing fooking shaking, Andrew McCreaddie. And the quote from Alan Newnes 'It was complete bedlam' he said. 'One of the cars looked like it had almost disintegrated', Alan, you should have seen it from my perspective, I thought I was disintegrating!!

And this talk of miracles? I quote from halfway through the story (you'd think a miracle would have made it into the opening paragraph, wouldn't you, especially at this time of year!!):

Miraculously, though, no one was seriously injured but a street light was demolished.

Miraculously? 'Tis the season for miracles, you wait til the 25th, I'm gonna walk on water.

TnM :->

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I've lost the exploring beanie!! 18/12/07

I'm really quite annoyed at the minute.

There I am quietly driving home, thinking about stopping at my beloved Tesco's and picking up a glorious meat feast pizza or two when BANG! Something happened.

It was only about two hours ago and I'm still not sure what's just gone on. All I can recall is the screech of tyres, an explosion of airbags, uncontrollable spinning, a lot of swearing and two blokes standing by the remains of my drivers side window asking me if I'm ok.

It seems somebody, don't know who, I didn't see them, pulled in front of me travelling in the opposite direction. I was doing fifty, I'd imagine they were doing the same.

It hurts hitting a large metal object at that speed. Right now my left thumb is in agony, aching of the chest and lower back, left knee hurts, right eyelid and a bump to the noggin.

I should consider myself lucky though, I was able to walk away, although a little bit dazed, and riduculously high blood pressure, I've never been in a situation like it, hope I never am again, either.

And somewhere in the wreckage of my car is the exploring beanie, which must have shot off my head at quite a speed, I'm hoping it's on the back seat. There were five cars involved all in. It could have been so much worse.

Although I doubt any of the people who were asking about my welfare on the side of the road as I wandered about in a daze read this, I think I owe them I huge thanks, I couldn't have got out of my car without them.

TnM :(

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Home Sweet Home....

That's it then. We're in. Just got to find somewhere to put everything now. I have a feeling the charity shops around us are gonna be getting a visit this next week or two.

Thought I might introduce myself to the neighbours one evening this week, weather permitting.

;->

TnM

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Moving house is hard work... :-<

Well, finally after months of being f****d around by the Nationwide (possibly the world's worst building society) and settling with the Coventry Building Society (Yay!) we are moving. And what an absolute nightmare it is.

It's only 'til you start packing that you realise how much stuff (rubbish) you have. It isn't much fun. And my back is aching from a lifting and a carrying. Brunner Mond Winnington was easier than this.

Busy busy.

:-<

TnM

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Tax rebate, woo!

Rather unexpected, too. Normally when a letter from HM Customs and Excise drops onto the doormat a cold shiver runs up my spine, 'oh, god, who told them?' lol. But as it turns out, I'm 47 quid better off thanks to a recent change of tax code, which is better than a kick in the bollox.

;->

TnM

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I think I might be pregnant!!!

For the third morning running I've been sick, about an hour or two after I get up. Rather worrying really, being a chap and whatnot! A bit random, I realise, but I thought you would want to congratulate me.

Hmmm...

TnM

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